I spent years thinking I would never have children

Surgery at 23 revealed that Claire had blocked fallopian tubes and she was told that her chances of having a baby were virtually zero. She spent years thinking she would never be a mum until she went for advice. Now a mum-of-two at 37, she wishes she had been told earlier that IVF was an option, and is sharing her story ahead of Fertility Week (30 October – 5 November 2023) to encourage couples to seek specialist advice if they are struggling to conceive.

A future without children?

Five years after her surgery Claire got together with her partner Dan and, despite the couple planning a future without children, she still felt despondent.

“I was 28 and most of my friends had children, and deep down I was hurting.” says Claire. “I started to question things because I still had a womb and ovaries, so I investigated what might be possible. I went along to see my GP, who told me that we could try for NHS-funded IVF.”

“By that time most of my friends had children, and to be honest, deep down I was hurting. I know they were wary of telling me when they fell pregnant, but I was always really pleased for them. I had started to plan a future without children, but still felt really sad.

“I started to question things because I still had a womb and ovaries, so I looked into what might be possible. I went along to see my GP, who told me that we could try for NHS-funded IVF.”

Reaching the right BMI for IVF funding

The couple were referred to Bourn Hall for NHS-funded IVF.

“Bourn Hall didn’t need to do as many tests because we already knew what the problem was, although they did do a HyCoSy to confirm my remaining tube was blocked,” says Claire. “They tested Dan and he was fine.”

But Claire had to overcome one final hurdle.

“I have always been a really slim person, no matter how much I eat, and the guidelines for NHS-funded IVF are really strict – you need a BMI of between 19-35. My BMI was too low, so I had to gain some weight – but then we started treatment,” she says.

Dan helps with the injections

“I don’t like needles so Dan had to inject my medication. We had a few instances where he would be stood in the kitchen ready to give me an injection and I would back away! But I think he was glad to be able to help with that and take that part of the burden away from me.

“We got five eggs at egg retrieval; I have a photo of me in the clinic saying ‘five’ with my hand up in the air.

“While I was undergoing the egg retrieval Dan was in the clinic at the same time ‘doing his thing’ in a different room. I can’t even imagine what the man goes through – it is quite a pressure having to ‘perform’. I know I was under pressure as well but all I had to do was lie down!

“Then there was the wait to hear how many of the eggs had been fertilized, which was quite scary. We had three embryos, and one was put in whilst the other two were frozen.

“I was so emotional at the embryo transfer. I felt nervous but then afterwards I felt a kind of relief because by that point there was nothing else we could do, we just had to wait.

“Two weeks later we found out I was pregnant! It was the first pregnancy test I had ever taken; I had never had to do a pregnancy test before and it came up positive straight away. It was 6 o’clock in the morning but I rang my mum and dad; we were so shocked, we couldn’t believe it, we hadn’t expected it to work first time.”

Wished I had questioned more

“Dylan is four now and just started school and Millie is one and a half. Now I can’t imagine my life if I hadn’t had children; my life revolves around them,” says Claire.

“When I think back about all those years I spent thinking I had no chance to have a baby it makes me wish I had questioned it more. I would recommend that anyone worried about their fertility talks about it to a health professional.”

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