Coping with uncertainty – self-care

Uncertainty can be difficult to cope with, especially for those struggling with infertility, hoping to start fertility treatment or in treatment. To provide some comfort during the current coronavirus outbreak, Jackie Stewart, one of our counsellors, offers some positive things you can do to keep centred in this guest blog.

Acknowledge your feelings

This is a time of great uncertainty on a personal level and on a bigger ‘world view’ level. Tell yourself that it’s OK to feel sad or frustrated and fearful, remember as a patient you are struggling with both. So try to accept your feelings and know you are doing the best you can each day.

If you find yourself thinking ‘I shouldn’t feel like this’, it is a clue to a hidden layer of guilt for the way you are feeling. Allow your feelings to be present and you will feel less overwhelmed in doing so.

Indpendent fertility counsellor Jackie Stewart

If you have questions or concerns please email us: [email protected]

All I know is I don’t know!

As fertility treatment and normal day-to-day life are put on hold, the delay in starting treatment and not knowing exactly when it will start again, just adds to the pain for those suffering with infertility.

As much as everybody fully appreciates the importance of helping to prevent and delay the spread of coronavirus, it can be unsettling to feel out of control in planning for the future. The feeling of waiting to fulfil the dream of starting or completing a family can increase stress and anxiety.

So, rather than strive to be in control of what is currently beyond your control, remind yourself that ‘all I know is I don’t know’ as a way of surrendering to what is what for now.

It is less exhausting mentally!


If it helps to empower yourself a little bit with regards to fertility treatment going forward, view the frequently asked questions posted on the Bourn Hall website or contact their helpline using the [email protected] email address.

These small steps can also help your mind to  rest, knowing you have done all you can do for now.

  • download your feelings if it is helpful. You could try keeping a journal
  • try to avoid Google/news/social media overload. Instead of feeling more in control, it can sometimes make you feel worse. Give yourself a break from them if needed.
  • consider reaching out to others who can empathise with how you are feeling. Remember you are not alone.

Below are details of some of the podcasts/websites that patients have found helpful. There are many more!

On occasion if uncertainty seems to overwhelm you, be still, let the fearful emotions wash over you. Sink into the peace within that is there to be found underneath it.

Some other helpful links and sources of support:

Podcasts – available on Apple, Spotify and other good podcast providers. Here are some suggested by Jackie that others have found helpful.

Big Fat Negative

Fertility Liferaft

Fertility Podcast

Let’s Talk Fertility with Izzy Judd

More information

If you have questions or concerns please do get in touch by email: [email protected].

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