Long-term struggle overcome with donated sperm

Donated sperm really does change lives. There are few other things that you could do for someone else that would have such a positive impact.

Lee and Jacob Tookey
Lee and Jacob

One couple that will always be grateful to an anonymous donor are Ria and Lee from Suffolk; it took them ten years and two miscarriages to finally achieve their “happy bubbly baby.”

The couple married in 2001 and Ria, then 21, came off the pill to start a family.

Ria (now 34) begins: “However time ticked on – I returned to university, our careers developed – and on turning 30, I realised we needed to do something.”

The couple went to their GP, who referred them for tests at the local hospital. When investigations revealed that Lee had a low sperm count, it was suggested that they had IVF treatment and from the list of fertility centres offered they picked Bourn Hall Clinic.

After the initial consultation in September 2012 it was suggested that an attempt was made to retrieve sperm directly from the testicles using a minor surgical procedure called surgical sperm retrieval (SSR).

Although the couple were told that there was a slim chance of it being successful they thought it was worth the chance.

Ria says: “We went in with our eyes wide open and we had wanted to try to see if we could have a baby that was genetically ours before considering other options. It was very disappointing when they couldn’t find any sperm.”

Next step donated sperm

The next option was to use donated sperm. Bourn Hall was the first clinic to freeze sperm and also the first to start a sperm bank.

Each donor prepares a short anonymous pen picture of himself and this is given to the couple, along with details of the donor’s build and colouring to help them to select a good match.

Several vials of sperm from the same donor are reserved for the couple so they can have a number of IVF cycles and also to use the sperm for siblings if required.

In February 2013 Ria began a course of injections to increase her ovulation in preparation for the couple’s first NHS-funded IVF treatment.

“April was a tough month,” recalls Ria. “My Mum suddenly died two days before I was due to have my egg collection and then after becoming pregnant I later miscarried.”

Having decided they wanted to try again, the couple returned in mid-October for a second cycle of IVF treatment, again using the frozen donor sperm.

Although an initial home test revealed Ria was pregnant, unfortunately her seven-week scan showed heartbreakingly there was no baby.

The couple decided to wait until after Christmas to try one last time.

For their third and final NHS-funded cycle it was decided to change Ria’s drug regime and also to continue with medication through the first 12 weeks of a pregnancy to improve the blood flow to the womb.

Ria and Jacob
Ria and Jacob

“The Bourn Hall staff were very supportive and easy to talk to and when I saw our little baby’s heart beating at the 12 week scan it was such a good feeling!”

The rest of Ria’s pregnancy went smoothly and on 11th December 2014 baby Jacob was born.

Ria reflects: “It took us a lot longer to get where we are, with our happy bubbly baby, but once referred to Bourn Hall Clinic the process was surprisingly quick.

“We now couldn’t imagine life without Jacob.  Lee phones me every day from work to check how his son is doing – it was well worth going through all the ‘hoops’ to get him.”

More information

Find out more about male infertility here.

To see more about treatments for male infertility click here.

To find out more about sperm donation please visit becomeadonor.co.uk.

Related articles

Sort By Date
  • Bourn-Hall-Fertility-Awareness-Week-Male-infertility
    October 1, 2018
    Common questions men ask about male infertility
    Mr Oliver Wiseman answers questions about male infertility.
  • A very special Father's Day for a man who never thought he would be a dad
    June 17, 2018
    Special Father’s Day for man told he would never be a dad
    A very special Father's Day for one Norfolk man
  • IMSI allows sperm to be viewed at high magnification
    August 30, 2016
    IMSI improves the odds by selecting the best sperm
    IMSI helps IVF embryologists select the best sperm as a high proportion of sperm...