It is not your fault. Be kind to yourself

“More Than We Could Wish For”: Emily and Will’s Fertility Journey

At Bourn Hall, we often say that every family’s path to parenthood is unique, and some are filled with more unexpected turns than others. Emily and Will’s journey to meet their baby boy, Spencer, is one of perseverance, partnership, and profound love. From a PCOS diagnosis to multiple rounds of treatment, their story reflects the strength so many of our patients show, even in the face of what feels impossible.

We’re grateful to Emily and Will for sharing their experience in their own words, and hope it brings hope to others starting their journey.

Finding Answers, Facing Unknowns

“My periods were always irregular,” Emily shares. “I was put on the pill in my teens without investigation, something I now realise wasn’t right.”

When Emily and Will decided to try for a baby, they were prepared for some irregularity, but not the extent of what followed. “One month I bled for 26 days,” she recalls. Her GP referred her for further testing, which revealed a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).

“I was relieved to have a reason why, but I had no idea how many hurdles we were about to face. I naively thought treatment would be straightforward.”

Taking the First Steps

After a year of trying and a prescription for Metformin that didn’t result in pregnancy, Emily was referred to Bourn Hall.

“We didn’t go straight to IVF,” she says. “I started ovulation stimulant therapy, but then they discovered I had high prolactin levels. I had to undergo a brain MRI and start medication for
that, too.”

Each treatment brought new complications: a thin womb lining, an abandoned HyCoSy, and eventually a cervical dilation procedure under general anaesthetic.

“Each step felt like another setback,” she says. “It was emotionally exhausting.”

The Emotional Toll and Strength in Each Other

“I was excited to start treatment,” Emily says, “but at every stage, there was another hurdle. It was hard to keep going, especially when I didn’t know if we’d ever get the baby we dreamed of.”

For Will, stepping into the unknown as a partner was its own challenge. “Not being from the medical field, I didn’t understand everything, and IVF felt like a last resort. I was scared. But the
Bourn Hall team were so compassionate, they explained everything clearly and made us feel supported.”

The couple leaned on each other through the difficult days. “It was emotionally draining to feel powerless,” Will says. “But it brought us closer, too. We always had each other’s backs.”

Support and Hope Along the Way

Support came in many forms, friends, family, a compassionate counsellor at Bourn Hall, and eventually, shared conversations that made them feel less alone.

“I changed jobs to reduce stress,” Emily explains. “And I opened up to friends. The more I talked, the more I found people who had been through IVF too.”

Will adds, “It helped so much to speak to others. At first, I kept it all in, but once I started talking, I realised how common it is, and how understanding people are.”

A Dream Realised

When the pregnancy test finally came back positive, the moment didn’t feel real.

“I didn’t believe the test,” Emily laughs.

“I was gobsmacked,” says Will. “Even now, six months after Spencer’s birth, it still feels like a dream.”

Holding their son now, both say the long road to get here feels worth every step.

Looking Back and Looking Forward

“Every baby is special,” says Emily, “but after everything we’ve been through, holding Spencer in my arms even at 2 am when he won’t sleep feels extra special. He made all the pain and heartbreak worth it.”

Will puts it simply: “That’s the power of witchcraft science! We always talked about being parents, and now we are. It’s more than we could wish for.”

Advice for Others on the Journey

Emily has this message for those facing PCOS and fertility struggles:

• “It is not your fault. Be kind to yourself. Don’t be afraid to speak up, push for answers, or seek help. Confide in people you trust and remove as many stressors as you can. You are so much stronger than you think.”

Will offers words of support for other partners:

• “Just be there. Try to understand how she’s feeling, help keep her distracted when needed, and do everything you can to support her. You’ll get through it together.”

Looking back, they both agree they would give themselves more grace.

• “I’m not a failure,” Emily says. “I was my best advocate, and I should have believed in that sooner.”
• “I would’ve been more empathetic from the start,” Will adds. “And I’d talk to people earlier.”

Their Final Message

Now that Spencer is here, their perspective has shifted. The once-daunting challenges now feel like “speed bumps”, large ones, but ones they overcame together. To those just beginning their journey, Will has one final thought:

• “Stick it out. There will be times you want to walk away, but keep pushing. It’s not if, it’s when.”

If you’re beginning your own journey or feeling overwhelmed by the road ahead, know that you are not alone. At Bourn Hall, we are here to walk it with you, every step of the way �